FEELING YOUR CEILING

If you can touch the ceiling of your house with the palm of your hand, your ceiling is too low. – Bob Horton, consultant and writer, Largo, Florida

 



 

PROFITING FROM ADVERTISING

A going company will usually profit from advertising an amount equal to its advertising expenses. – Peter Reimuller, Point Arena, California

 



 

GETTING PAID

Patients who ask for expensive medical tests or surgical procedures saying they don’t care how much it costs aren’t footing the bill. The doctor will be paid by some sort of insurance, by the government, or no one at all. – Gerry M. Flick M.D., Ship’s Surgeon, S.S. Constitution off Hawaii

 



 

COUNTING THE DAYS IN A MONTH

Put your hands together, thumb to thumb. Name the months from left to right across the backs of your hands. The months falling on a knuckle have 31 days, while those falling in hollows have 30 or fewer. – Norman Brenner, Fleetwood, New York

 



 

USING A BRICK BAKE OVEN

There are some traditional methods to tell when an oven is ready to use: (1) The bricks must all look red. If the black spots are not all burned off, it is not hot enough. (2) Sprinkle flour on the oven hearth; if it burns black right away, the oven is too hot. (3) Insert the tender part of your wrist toward the inner corners of the oven behind the front walls and count. If you cannot hold your hand in longer than to count to twenty, it is hot enough. If you can count to thirty, it is not hot enough for bread. – Richard Bacon, writer and historian

 



 

BEING REMEMBERED

People are more likely to remember you if you always wear the same outfit. – Paul A. Delaney, meteorologist, Beltsville, Maryland

 



 

THE STAR RULE

Stars twinkle, planets don’t. – Scott Parker, data specialist, Beaumont, Texas

 



 

SHIFTING GEARS ON A BICYCLE

If the gear is too high, your legs will tire before your lungs. If the gear is too low, your lungs will tire first. – John S. Allen, author, The Complete Book of Bicycle Commuting

 



 

TRYING TO GET PREGNANT

It’s time to consult a fertility specialist if you haven’t gotten pregnant after 12 months of trying. – Dr. June Reinisch, syndicated columnist, United Feature Syndicate