{"id":33966,"date":"2019-07-22T05:00:12","date_gmt":"2019-07-22T12:00:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kk.org\/cooltools\/?p=33966"},"modified":"2019-07-21T16:38:36","modified_gmt":"2019-07-21T23:38:36","slug":"bookfreak15","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kk.org\/cooltools\/bookfreak15\/","title":{"rendered":"Book Freak #15:  The Benefits of Listening"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.getrevue.co\/profile\/bookfreak\/\">Book Freak<\/a> is one of four newsletters from Cool Tools Lab (our other three are the <a href=\"https:\/\/kk.org\/cooltools\/subscribe-to-email-list\/\">Cool Tools Newsletter<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.recomendo.com\/\">Recomendo<\/a>, and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.getrevue.co\/profile\/wimb\/\">What&#8217;s in my bag?<\/a>).<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Most people tell me I\u2019m a good conversationalist, but in truth, I\u2019m more of a listener than a talker. I don\u2019t learn much by talking. But I\u2019m good at asking questions about things I\u2019m interested in.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ve also found that an effective way to talk someone who is argumentative or upset is to never interrupt. Instead, actively listen to them as they talk and absolutely don\u2019t interrupt them until they are done talking (you can say OK, m-hm, or nod your head). Wait until they are silent for a couple of seconds. Then, and only then, reply with your thoughts. If they interrupt you, stop talking immediately, and wait for them to finish. They will soon cool down and listen to you. &#8212; MF<\/p>\n<p>In this issue of Book Freak: advice on listening.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Focus on nothing but what the other person is saying<\/strong><br \/>\n\u201cInstead of prioritizing your argument\u2014in fact, instead of doing any thinking at all in the early goings about what you\u2019re going to say\u2014make your sole and all-encompassing focus the other person and what they have to say. In that mode of true active listening\u2026you\u2019ll disarm your counterpart. You\u2019ll make them feel safe. The voice in their head will begin to quiet down.<br \/>\n\u2014 Chris Voss and Tahl Raz, <a href=\"https:\/\/amzn.to\/2xYbLhS\">Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It<\/a><\/p>\n<p><strong>Understand the other person\u2019s hunger<\/strong><br \/>\n\u201cUnderstanding a person\u2019s hunger and responding to it is one of the most potent tools you\u2019ll ever discover for getting through to anyone you meet in business or your personal life.\u201d<br \/>\n\u2015 Mark Goulston, <a href=\"https:\/\/amzn.to\/2JULOp8\">Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone<\/a><\/p>\n<p><strong>Do nothing, expect nothing<\/strong><br \/>\n\u201cBeing relevant simply consists in paying close attention to the point that is being talked about and saying nothing that is not significantly related to it.\u201d<br \/>\n\u2015 Mortimer J. Adler, <a href=\"https:\/\/amzn.to\/2YeGHZT\">How to Speak How to Listen<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Advice for becoming a better listener<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":76,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[76],"tags":[],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kk.org\/cooltools\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33966"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kk.org\/cooltools\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kk.org\/cooltools\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kk.org\/cooltools\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/76"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kk.org\/cooltools\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=33966"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/kk.org\/cooltools\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33966\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":33969,"href":"https:\/\/kk.org\/cooltools\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33966\/revisions\/33969"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kk.org\/cooltools\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=33966"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kk.org\/cooltools\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=33966"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kk.org\/cooltools\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=33966"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}