{"id":41613,"date":"2023-11-01T03:37:00","date_gmt":"2023-11-01T10:37:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/kk.org\/cooltools\/?p=41613"},"modified":"2023-10-31T15:42:50","modified_gmt":"2023-10-31T22:42:50","slug":"book-freak-143-how-to-build-the-life-you-want","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kk.org\/cooltools\/book-freak-143-how-to-build-the-life-you-want\/","title":{"rendered":"Book Freak 143: How to Build the Life You Want"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image is-resized\"><a href=\"https:\/\/geni.us\/build-the-life-u-want\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><img loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/substackcdn.com\/image\/fetch\/w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep\/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd2889538-ed16-43fb-be4b-3005c11d444f_993x1500.jpeg\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"483\"\/><\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/geni.us\/build-the-life-u-want\">Get Build the Life You Want<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Build the Life You Want: The Art and Science of Getting Happier,<\/em>&nbsp;by Arthur Brooks and Oprah Winfrey, offers research-backed strategies for becoming happier by improving relationships, finding purposeful work, and developing spiritually.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A major theme is that happiness comes from within. You can&#8217;t just wait for external circumstances to change. The book emphasizes emotional &#8220;self-management&#8221;\u2014controlling your reactions, choosing better emotions like gratitude and hope, and focusing outside yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Key lessons from the book:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul><li>Seek out friends who are &#8220;useless&#8221; to you \u2014 people you enjoy spending time with for no reason other than their company. These real friendships bring the deepest satisfaction.<\/li><li>Contemplate your mortality to boost gratitude. Thinking about death makes people value life and its blessings more.<\/li><li>Turn off notifications and switch your devices to grayscale to reduce digital distraction and increase mindfulness.<\/li><li>When you argue with your spouse or partner, use &#8220;we&#8221; language instead of &#8220;me\/you&#8221; language. It reduces defensiveness and strengthens teamwork.<\/li><li>Schedule leisure activities just as you would work obligations. If you leave time open, it often gets filled with work instead of self-care.<\/li><li>Remove extra mirrors from your home to avoid excessive self-focus. Seeing your reflection frequently reinforces unhelpful self-consciousness.<\/li><li>If you envy someone, focus on the ordinary parts of their life rather than the things they have that you lack. This diminishes malicious envy.<\/li><li>Admit when you&#8217;re wrong quickly and openly. Contrary to expectations, it doesn&#8217;t undermine credibility but builds trust.<\/li><\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Research-backed strategies for becoming happier<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":74,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[76],"tags":[2397],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kk.org\/cooltools\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/41613"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kk.org\/cooltools\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kk.org\/cooltools\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kk.org\/cooltools\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/74"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kk.org\/cooltools\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=41613"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/kk.org\/cooltools\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/41613\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":41614,"href":"https:\/\/kk.org\/cooltools\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/41613\/revisions\/41614"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kk.org\/cooltools\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=41613"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kk.org\/cooltools\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=41613"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kk.org\/cooltools\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=41613"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}