IF YOU EVER WANT TO BRING AN ALLIGATOR TO SCHOOL, DON’T!

If You Ever Want to Bring an Alligator to School, Don’t!
by Elise Parsley
Little, Brown Books for Young Readers
2015, 40 pages, 9.5 x 12.2 x 0.5 inches (hardcover)

Buy on Amazon

When my kiddo really likes a book, she’ll ask to read it again and again and again, and she’ll only tire of it if something new comes along to replace it. The fact that my daughter has asked to read this book every night for the past two weeks – and still cracks up at the funny parts – speaks volumes.

If You Ever Want to Bring an Alligator to School, Don’t! is a wacky, colorful, and delightful tall tale for children ages 4-7. As Elise Parsley’s New York Times bestselling debut book, it tells the story of Magnolia, a unique girl who responds to her teacher’s request to “bring something from nature for show and tell” by – you guessed it – bringing an alligator to school. As one can guess, havoc ensues.

Magnolia tries to convince her teacher that alligators are “quiet and good” and that he “won’t eat anyone,” but then spends the rest of the story trying to avert certain disaster. The alligator draws funny pictures to make Magnolia laugh, creates paper-airplane origami that winds up in the teacher’s hair, almost eats a fellow student, gets chewing gum everywhere, and eats Magnolia’s lunch. In return, Magnolia gets her name written on the board, followed by several checkmarks and an underline, which guarantees a trip to the principal’s office after school.

If You Ever Want to Bring an Alligator to School, Don’t! is a delightful and silly read, especially for preschool or primary school children who have already experienced show and tell. Parsley does a magnificent job of capturing Magnolia’s frustration and exasperation with this misbehaving beast. The illustrations, which were digitally drawn in Adobe Photoshop and colored in with Corel Painter, are vibrant, imaginative, and spot-on funny. Magnolia’s exaggerated expressions, especially when she’s mad at the “innocent” alligator, are priceless and giggle-worthy…even if you’re a grown-up. – Jennifer Brozak

---

EVERYTHING IS TEETH – AN UNSETTLING, AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL PEEK AT A CHILDHOOD OBSESSION

Everything Is Teeth
by Evie Wyld (author) and Joe Sumner (illustrator)
Pantheon
2016, 128 pages, 8.1 x 10.3 x 0.7 inches (hardcover)

Buy on Amazon

Everything Is Teeth is an unsettling, autobiographical peek at a childhood obsession: author Evie Wyld’s fixation with sharks, and with a particular shark survivor named Rodney Fox. This is a small girl with a big internal life; pop culture and her imaginings about sharks are more vivid than real life.

Joe Sumner’s art is well matched to the mood of the text. The illustrations are spare, and mostly black and white. The images of books and sharks are vivid by comparison, especially the bright red blood that pops up periodically. And the humans are drawn with big heads and childlike features, which is appropriate for text that reveals an introspective child’s thoughts about grownups. The best lines are about Wyld’s parents, such as: “He hangs on to his jetlag like it’s the last bit of civilization he’ll see in a long while.”

Why sharks? One hard-to-avoid theory is that Wyld’s focus on blood is one sign of her apprehension about menstruation, and womanhood in general. She tells two especially memorable stories of washed-up sharks found and cut open. One contained a litter of shark pups, the other some expensive stiletto heels. Stilettos and offspring are potent symbols of womanhood, of course. Thus, becoming a woman, like facing off with a shark, inspires both fear and fascination. I was also a morbid girl who wasn’t so sure about this femininity business, so this odd book strikes a chord. – Christine Ro

NOTE: The link above sends you to the same book, different cover.

04/8/25