Squeak No More

This tool is a system for eliminating squeaky floors. There are several versions available; I used the Squeeeek-No-More for carpeted floors.
Essentially, the kit inclues the following: a tool for finding joists under the floor; a tripod depth stop and square-drive driver bit for the drill; and square-drive screws which are grooved at the top of the threads.
First, you locate the joist by chucking the joist finder, which is a long screw threaded only on the end and has a hex end for the drill/driver. Pick a place and go for it. If you are over a joist, once the screw is down a couple inches, when you back it out it will push itself out. If you’re not over a joist, it spins freely. It’s pretty easy to tell even when the screw goes in if you are on a joist.
Then you set the tripod stand over the joist and drive a screw through the center into the floor. The screw goes through the carpet, through the sub-floor, and into the joist. Once a few screws are in place, you can use the side of the tripod to rock the screws back and forth to break it off where grooved. The screws’ depth is set by the tripod so that they break off slightly below the surface of the sub-floor.
After a little brushing with your hand, the carpet reveals no evidence of the screws.
After seeing an add in the back of a magazine, I bought a set. When I saw it, I did not expect the system to work, since I was expecting a dual-pitch screw that would pull the subfloor to the joist. The screws are just like wood screws with a groove. We had a large area about 1′ x 3′ in our bedroom that squeaked a lot. You could feel the give in the floor.
I put about 15 screws into the area, about every 4″ in three different joists. Now it is almost completely silent. This was only a few days ago, so I’m not sure of how long it will last, but so far so good.

A cutaway view of one of the screws after it has been embedded in the joist.
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The Utility Shower Curtain is made here in the US with better materials that other shower curtains/liners I’ve tried. The 200-denier Oxford nylon is water resistant (it’s not waterproof like a liner, but still prevents any water from getting through), and dries fast, minimizing mildew. Unlike the cheaper plastic liners, it can be cleaned in the washing machine when it does start to get dirty.

We’re nowhere near tired of it yet, so we’ve moved it onto the bathroom counter to be closer to the little things we will inevitably decide to drop into it. As a bonus, the blue light of the machine makes a nifty nightlight for the bathroom counter, too. For $30 it makes a great gift. These little cleaners have been out for years so their novelty may have worn off, but their utility definitely has not. We like keeping our things beautiful, and $30 is a minor investment for a lifetime of maintenance.





